Did you notice an increase in the number of greeting cards saying "Happy Grandparent's Day?" Grandparent's day, Sunday, September 7th, signifies the appreciation owed to grandparents for their role in stabilizing our families and communities. For many of America's children the day is as important as Mother's Day or Father's Day because grandparents are raising nearly 7% of America's kids. Do you have responsibility for a grandchild or do you know someone who does?
Grandparents have been raising their children's children throughout America's history. The practice is rooted in the country's histori
cal experience with multi-generational family. Up until the early 20th century the idea was common. During the period just after World War 2, for instance, I know at least two people who were raised by grandparents and chances are that you do too. With the development of daycare and shifts in economic and social programs incidences dropped throughout the sixties to a low of 2% of America's children living in a household without either parent. As rising poverty, crime, divorce, out of marriage births, cuts to social programs, and longer, healthier lifespans surged in the mid eighties so did grandfamilies. Justice systems and child welfare programs began knocking on grandparents' doors when parents were absent or unfit and grown children left their kids with mom and dad when circumstances overwhelmed them. Grandparenting continued to rise in the 21st century with the highest annual spike occurring during the Recession between 2007 and 2008 according to Pew Research Trust.
"More grandparents than ever before are willing to take their grandchildren," Mary Jane Di Paolo, assistant director of Community Child Care Solutions in New Jersey, told USA Today in a recent article about grandparenting. In one of the article's profiles a grandfather in his 70's, who agreed to co-parent three grandchildren aged 9-16, confesses, "It is not what we had planned, but we stepped in and have no regrets whatsoever. Some may be bitter in this situation, but I wouldn't change it -- not a thing. They are a joy." Three grandchildren are typical of the family size inherited by grandparents according to an e-book, Child Welfare for the Twentieth First Century: A Handbook of Practices.
It isn't easy raising a grandchild. There are often complicating factors such as challenges to personal health, difficulties trying to act on behalf of a child as a non parent, or problems coping with events that impacted the grandchild. Blogging about that complexity at Grandparents.com, author Amanda Long writes, "Questions of custody, financial assistance, school enrollment, housing, health care, and basic mental well-being for you and your grandchild strike at lightning speed in the midst of heart-breaking circumstances (death, substance abuse, divorce). All this at a time when you may be down-shifting into an easier pace of retirement. 'You will feel completely alone and overwhelmed,' says Pat [Owens, co-founder of Grandfamilies of America], 'I can't deny that.'"
To alleviate pressure innovative support programs are springing up throughout the country. One, such as Boston's Grandfamilies House, profiled in this ABC news story, subsidizes housing for low income grandparents with financial responsibility for their grandchildren. In Ohio, Fairhill partners, a Kinship care support organization, also operates Kinship Village, a community of several properties they rent to grandparent/grandchildren families. In Rochester New York the award winning Kinship Care Resource Center offers local support to over 800 informal Kinship care relationships that are outside of the Foster Care system. Duet, in Arizona, provides support groups and respite care programs as well as legal guidance and general resources for grandfamilies. Writing about the progress at her website, Pat Owens recalls:
When Sharon [vice president of Grandfamilies of America] and I began our journey of becoming recycled parents many years ago, there were virtually no resources for us to access. In fact the bottom line was that the limited resources that were available, were not readily made available to those seeking them. We were routinely either ignored or seen as the enemy by the child welfare establishment. We have come from being the best last kept secret in American society to becoming a permanent part of legislative agendas in every state and in our federal legislative process.
You'll find a list of laws, state to state, current to 2012, that improve access and conditions for grandfamilies at the National Conference of State Legislators. CLASP, a policy action organization for low income families of all kinds, maintains a state by state resource database on policies and research. Laws governing grandfamilies vary considerably from state to state.
Today a broad spectrum of grandparenting resources and information are available online. AARP's 2011 support manual, the Grandfamilies Guide, offers a range of basic information from where to find childcare to advice on how to cope with family problems. In it they also explain legal issues such as the differing rights grandparents have depending on whether they've adopted grandchildren or have custody, guardianship or some form of kinship care responsibility. Determining or establishing rights is an essential first step toward accessing support resources or taking such fundamental action such as enrolling a grandchild in school or securing medical help. If no legal relationship is established, the guide notes, grandparents have no right to withhold their grandchild if the parent wants the child back. Helpguide.org has an easy to use presentation of legal rights and financial support options for raising grandchildren. The Annie E Casey Foundation offers a simple overview of basic terms and facts.
The Annie E Casey Foundation, an organization dedicated to families and children, states that fewer than 12% of kin caregivers receive TANF help, federal financial help, but nearly all are eligible. Check websites for financial support information from a discussion of financial resources for low income grandfamilies to an overview of potential grandparenting family tax credits. Former President Clinton was raised by grandparents as was President Obama so it's fitting that USA.gov offers deep grandparenting family resources that include financial support available nationally and state to state. In an interview with Jimmy Kimmel, Clinton touched briefly on the financial reality his grandparents faced. "I was incredibly fortunate that I was born in a little town in Arkansas and raised by my grandparents largely and my great-uncle and -aunt when my widowed mother went off to become a nurse. And my grandparents were poor white Southerners, who as a class were among the most racially prejudiced people in the South, and they weren't...So I was raised in a different way," he said. There are no measures of the love and foundation available when grandparents open their lives to grandchildren but statistics reveal that many of those families live near poverty levels where stresses about money compound their new role.
Society is increasingly aware of how grandfamilies anchor our children but there's less understanding of how grandparenting benefits community. According to a report from Canada, grandparents save the Canadian government 2.8 billion dollars annually by assuming care of their grandchildren. In America last year that annual figure spilled over $6 billion. Grandparents contribute to community by acting as a safety net between their grandchildren and the formal foster care system or as healers and guides to children whose difficult life circumstances prompt a family shift. Despite record increases in grandparents raising grandchildren and the millions of children whose lives they shape little information is available on child outcomes or community benefit.
Grandparents are making a difference in the lives of family and communities across our nation by answering the call to start again. Trends in grandfamilies continue to increase while support networks slowly grow. Society is trying to do more to value grandfamilies yet every parent knows that a child's love is the truest measure. If you're the anchor in your grandchild's life I hope you took a moment, on September 7th, to take care of yourself. I hope you spent the day knowing that all you do for your grandchild is making your family and your world a better place. If you know a grandparent raising grandchildren please take a moment to offer them your love and support.
Update Feb 25 2015: new research is out suggests that caring for grandchildren lowers the risk of Dementia.
Update 2016: A PBS Newshour focus on Grandparenting quotes Generations United as stating "there is no comprehensive framework to keep these kinship families stable."
Update 2016: The Hechinger Report focuses on how America's opiod epidemic is creating a new wave of grandparenting.
