Holidays create family memories and, usually, prompt family gatherings. Will you be joining family this holiday season? Millions of people will travel to see children, parents and grandparents during this time but millions more will already be living with three or four generations of family! Trends show increasing numbers of people living multi-generationally in America. For many families this seems like a new phenomenon often necessitated by economics, but for some cultures and, in fact, for most families in America in the 19th century, multi-generational living was the norm.
You may have heard stories from your parents, perhaps, and certainly your grandparents, or great grandparents about life in a three generation household. You may have lived a life like that in your childhood. From 1850 (when good Census figures begin to be recorded) to 1920 that experience was common and it remained strong through 1940. At its height, in the mid 1800's, 80% of the population 65 years of age or older lived with a relative- 70% of which lived with their children or children by marriage, according to a fascinating 2003 research paper. At that time less than 10% of our aging parents lived in an institution or almshouse. Today more than 15% of the population over 85 lives in an assisted living facility or nursing home and nearly half of all women 75+ live alone!
You may be thinking about family structure and living situations these days. You and your parents, if they're still here, are aging. Quite possibly your adult children are asking you if they can come back home. You may long for the nuclear family where partners raise a child who leaves home and establishes independence so you can enjoy a wonderful retirement. But nuclear family, and the family contract it implies, is actually the aberration in a much larger American family cycle having been dominant only about 50 years in the 230+ years of American families.
The concept of nuclear family became the American family norm in the sixties. It rose parallel to industrialization and the advent of wage earning opportunities offered by large businesses proliferating after World War II. Sweeping commercial changes at that time overturned family economies which were dominant up to the mid 1900's. Small business enterprise and farm life, in those days, motivated multi-generational team work that kept the family economic foundation strong and held its members together. Children often lived with parents, caring for them as they aged, inheriting and continuing the family livelihood. Poorer families also stayed together sharing domestic labor and pooling resources. Multi-generational living was the normal family structure of that time.
Today, multi-generational families are gaining in practicality and popularity once again. Nearly 17% of America lives multi-generationally according to AARP. However, their members are motivated by influences quite different from those in our early history. Analysts at PEW research identify two large social influences driving the shift---ongoing cultural diversification and economic pressures. Immigrating cultures bring along their family dynamics and norms. Multi-generational living is more common in Latin American and Asian cultures. In 2012, at least 14% of all African American, Latin American and Asian households were multi-generational. Economic welfare is also motivating. In 2012, 19% of all multi-generational households lived in poverty--- a rate significantly higher than the poverty rate for all households. Multi-generational living was once a way to pool labor and resources and it may still serve as a strategy for the survival of family and family members in a time of growing poverty. Also battered by the economy are adult children who're going back to their childhood homes. Among 25-34 year olds, 61% have friends or family that moved in with their parents or relatives as a consequence of economic hardship.
Multi-generational living today, as it did historically, offers a structural way to provide care for aging parents and relatives. In 1980, when nuclear families dominated, 17% of adults over 65 still chose or needed to live in a multi-generational household but, in a 20th century twist, many opened their house to a grandchild for whom they provided primary care. By 2011, a shocking 7 million grandparents lived with a grandchild and nearly 40% had primary financial responsibility for at least one grandchild under the age of 18. Inversely, 10% of all grandchildren lived with their grandparent because of forces in modern life such as: high divorce rates, single parent needs, economic volatility, or the incarceration, early death or absence of a parent.
Nuclear families may still be in our conscious as the American family norm but multi-generational family structure has a much longer history in America and it's rebounding. The multi-generational family has survived transformation and technological change in America because of its structural flexibility that accommdates changing family needs and protects all family members. Multi-generational families show us that no matter how attractive personal desires can be- throughout history family members have put love before their need for privacy and caring above the drive for independence. As we gather for these holidays, in our troubled world, multi-generational families remind us that our families, in all their shapes and sizes, are formed of bonds that will not break and experiences that are ever changing. Happy Holidays, dear reader.
Update April 2014- Generations United is an exciting organization supporting Multi-generational collaboration. At this site are great resources and a blog that features topics related to Inter-generational communication, programs, and experiences.
Update May 2014 Fabulous article on multi-generational families aptly called "Better Together."
Update August 23 2016 Donna Butts, Exec Dir of Grandfamilies United tells blogger Clare Trapasso that “The majority of families say there can be some difficulties, but overall it[multi-generational living ed.] helps them economically, it helps them with caregiving, and it helps them develop stronger ties between family members.” Read more at realtor.com
